It's been two weeks since I gave a speech that wasn’t forced upon me by a class syllabus. #adult. I guess that’s when you know you’re no longer in the safety bubble of a university classroom.
SIDE NOTE: upon learning from my mom earlier this week, this is not my first speech – I gave one when I was in high school to a group of girl scouts. About what? I don’t remember so to me it doesn’t count.
I was going to be attending the third annual Hats and Henna, a high tea benefiting The Rose, a breast cancer organization servicing the Houston area, and celebrating the survivorship of my friend’s mom.
To be honest, it’s not that I didn’t want to give this speech because I was ready to tell my story but the procrastinator in me put off writing it up until the night before. I was encouraged to wing it and if you know me, you know that was my game plan.
But, I didn’t want my nerves to get the best of me the day of; there’s nothing worse than blanking out in front of a crowd. So, I prepared an outline and a bio (honestly the hardest thing) around 11 p.m. the night before. I read it out loud three times before I decided to get some much-needed rest at 2 a.m.…. 11 hours before the event.
That morning, I was a ball of nerves and extremely jittery. The tall caramel macchiato I had before a tea event didn’t help. But I was as ready as I would ever be. During the car ride there, I rubbed lavender essential oil onto my pulse points to remain calm but also because I knew I would start stress sweating and that would be gross.
Once we got there, I was able to calm down a bit, especially when I realized that the room wasn’t as big as I thought. I was still nervous, but I managed. This was mostly due to smelling strongly like a lavender field and my inner diva telling me that I could do this. I had to remember to breathe.
I was shaking mostly due to the amount of caffeine I had, but as soon as I got to the podium and started speaking, I was comfortable. It became second nature to me like it was something that I was meant to do. I was able to speak clearly and engage with my audience through eye contact. This allowed me to connect with them, which helped ease my nerves.
It was the first time that I told my story out loud to a group of strangers.
My biggest fear was that I would start crying but I didn’t.
I felt strong and incredibly empowered by sharing my story.
My biggest fear was that I would start crying but I didn’t.
I felt strong and incredibly empowered by sharing my story.
This moment allowed me to take the reigns of a time in my life where I felt like I didn’t have any control. I talked about how I found my lump through self-discovery and the whirlwind that came after. I encouraged young women to do their own self-checks and become an advocate for themselves when something doesn’t seem right because I know that not everyone is not as lucky as I am to have an expert by their side.
After my speech, I had a lot of people thank me for telling my story. I was confused because, in my head, that wasn’t a reaction I had prepared for. By speaking, this allowed people to finally put a face to a small statistic. And it encouraged everyone to self-check because breast cancer, regardless of age and gender, does not discriminate.
Growing up, I was timid and deathly afraid of speaking in front of people. I vividly remember in the fourth grade having to recite Martin Luther King's "I Have a Dream" and having to do it over three times in front of the class because I was so anxious. I always thought of myself as the “behind-the-scenes” kind-of-girl. That's why I decided to major in public relations instead of broadcast journalism. Even though everyone has told me the exact opposite of what I thought, I have come to realize that maybe I’m not meant to be behind the scenes as I initially thought.
Maybe, that’s what time post-grad is all about – figuring out a means to survive, finding what you're good at and paying back student loans.
I guess we can file this under ‘things to still figure out.’
I guess we can file this under ‘things to still figure out.’
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